“fuck yer cat,” she advised me, emphasizing the point with a quick thrust of her fist. “real tight, and it’ll make you laugh when she starts to yell and shit. how big are you?”
           understanding that she meant the size of my cock, i considered for a minute. when confronted with this question, i usually answer that my size is somewhere between medium and large, medium being the description i give when there’s a chance of verification. “large,” i answered.
           “then you’ll only have a few good ones before you split the beast wide open,” she told me. she went back to peeling the onions. “this shit always makes me cry,” she said. “the onions, i mean.”